Walk a little taller: channelling efforts in positivity

By Alice Mackenzie - Senior Visit Coordinator at Jamie's Farm 

We’ve all been in that performance management meeting where so many strengths are listed and yet, the only things that stand out to us and stay with us are the things we did not do or those we did not do so well. We come out of those meetings often feeling underappreciated, undervalued and generally, ‘not good enough’. We also all know the value of a quick word of praise in the corridor from a colleague or senior management highlighting how well a child is responding to our lesson, how good our assembly was or how professionally we dealt with a parent in a meeting… Just those words help us walk a little taller and make the job feel a little more worthwhile.

For the children in our care and particularly for those who struggle, what they hear most are the gentle then firmer reminders, their name being repeatedly used in a progressively sterner voice, the detentions and, at worst, the repeated exclusions. This leaves them with that same feeling of rejection and confirming their own narrative that they too are not good enough… Going into school therefore often involves proving this to themselves over and over again, waiting for an opportunity to hear the words that confirm what they already know.

What if we could shift the focus onto the things that have gone well? What if the fact that this young person came into school at all was an achievement? What if them sitting at a table for 10 minutes during the lesson was a miracle considering the evening they had had at home? What if them leaving the classroom was a better choice than responding physically? Often, we forget to celebrate the things that have gone well, the little things that are successes but by doing so, we can change the narrative for them but also for us.

It was once suggested to me that I should use a ‘Catch me’ card with one of my pupils. This card just asked me to catch this young person doing the right thing. Instead of all my energy being focused on looking out for negative behaviour, I now had one job… looking out for the positive. It shifted my way of looking at this young person and in turn, they started to hear the positives. They started to hear their name used in a different context and over time, that changed the narrative. They were valued, they did have something positive to contribute and they were good enough. Bit by bit, their self-esteem balloon could be inflated again with all the praise they were receiving and they started to want to live up to this.

We often have people who come to Jamie’s Farm commenting on the positivity our staff display week in week out and there is no doubt it is something that perhaps feels more achievable on a farm because of how different a work environment this is. But what if this could be achieved in school too? What if we could have more kind words in passing from a member of senior leadership who noticed your warm welcoming smile to your students this morning? What if we could be catching students at their best in the fleeting moments where they feel safe enough to display those qualities we want to see more of? Perhaps this is through a ‘Catch me’ card, a specific ‘well done for…’ in the corridor, a positive phone call home, a ‘Successes’ board in the staff room, a regular feature in the staff briefing or just a moment of reflection on ‘what went well today’… Actively reminding ourselves to look out for the positives can help us over time see ourselves, our school community and our pupils in a different light.

We talk of relentless positivity and perhaps because it does take work and it does take effort to remind ourselves to stay positive… effort when nothing goes to plan, effort when a child has sworn at us, effort when we receive the dreaded Ofsted call, effort when you are faced with piles of marking… But if we have to channel our efforts into things we know can make a difference, consider putting your money on positivity. Though it may not be a magic wand, your effort will directly breathe some air into someone’s self-esteem balloon and in turn help them walk a little taller.